Mercy Aigbe's ex-hubby, Lanre Gentry denies remarrying; says the actress is still part of his life

Mercy Aigbe's ex-husband, Lanre Gentry, says he has not yet remarried.

Gentry  was in the news recently after he shared a photo of a lady on social media and many thought she was his new wife.

In an interview with Punch, Gentry dismissed the report. He said the lady whose photo he shared, is his young brother's wife.

''I don’t know why some Nigerians are quick to jump to conclusions when they see innocent and harmless posts online. Mercy Aigbe knows the lady I celebrated very well. This is not the first time that people have speculated that I’ve married another woman based on social media posts.
It seems a lot of people are just obsessed with marriage for me. I’m a Yoruba man and if I want to marry another wife, I would do that'' he said

Gentry also stated that Mercy is still part of him despite their separation.

” Me and Mercy are not fighting. If I want to see her, I would call her and if she needs anything, she also calls me.

Love At First Sight: A Dreamy Notion

Human beings want to love and to be loved. Some are more eager than others to find their "soul mate," and the sooner the better.

Americans receive countless messages about love and romance from an early age. Fifty years ago, young girls were conditioned to play with dolls and were taught to focus on their appearance and finding a mate. Men were taught to be responsible and committed when the time was right. I'm not sure much has changed. There is still this longing and emphasis of finding one's "soul mate."

I do not believe that we all have only one soul mate in our lifetime. We can connect deeply and completely with many people over a lifetime. We may marry someone and be in a fulfilling monogamous relationship our entire lives, but does that mean we have just one soul mate? We don't know and we can't know. We shouldn't know. After you get married, I do not advocate entertaining ideas of finding a soul mate if you are unhappy with the current partner! The question is now immaterial and not applicable. It doesn't mean it is nonexistent. I am sure a philosopher has a term for this line of reasoning.

Danielle Steel and Nicholas Sparks novels will convince you that you can lock eyes with someone and poof, you will have a special love that lasts a lifetime. Isn't it ironic that both these authors did not achieve happy, lifelong love with their initial partner?

I also do not believe in love at first sight. I believe in lust at first sight. I believe we experience a strong chemistry or energy field with others. I believe our intelligence is rooted in the head, heart and gut and that we need to be mindful of those signals.

People often focus on the heart or head and the physical chemistry to the exclusion of other signals, because they desire a partner. They rush to conclusions, ignoring the true essence of the other person because they are either lonely, desperate or desirous of something for themselves. In a sense, love at first sight is often egocentric and self-serving.

How can you know the true essence of another person? I would argue that this takes time. It takes hours of conversation to discover who the person is -what are their values, priorities, pains, struggles, hurts, preferences, background? Do you know their childhood history and what the parents and grandparents were like? What do you know of their hardships and successes? What are their dreams and fears?

There is no way to know the answers to these questions just by casting a glance or two and spending a day or two with a person you just met. Are you familiar with any red flags? Have you put your antennae out to search for red flags? Red flags include: hidden information that you need to know: such as a felony, conviction, financial problems, past sexual, physical or emotional abuse from childhood, current day or if they were an abuser. Who will admit that they abused someone else? You need to interact with the person's closest circle of friends, relatives and acquaintances, if possible.

Other red flags that need healing, discussion or addressing: alcoholism and substance abuse, eating disorder, addiction, pornography, abortion. Does this person make fun of others, bully others, have disdain for certain groups?

What evidence does the person show of selfishness and making sacrifices? How does the person spend his or her time? Are you compatible? What are some things you like to do together? Alone? How are you going to deal with your differences?

You need to know one's personality and one's character and how the two of you mesh as a couple and form a third entity - a relationship that combines the two of you. How in the world can you know that upon locking eyes with an attractive person from across a room?

You need to know how one reacts to stress and trauma and how one handles changes in life. Are you familiar with the person's history, birth order, etc? Can you really look into someone's eyes and know whether they are able to forgive, whether they respect all human beings and what their world view is, how is was formed and how they practice it?

Successful relationships are not about navigating whether or not someone leaves a toilet seat up or how one squeezes the toothpaste container, it is about cultivating a special, respectful, kind, loving friendship. Through life's trials and tribulations, happily married couples have a sense of humor and a lightness about their relationship. It is a refreshing and renewing union.

Friends first, lovers next. Our culture is hot on the trail to thrust becoming hook-up partners first and then maybe friends later. Chase the pleasure, avoid the pain, never mind understanding what it means to have joy.

These are some reasons why I do not believe in love at first sight. Strong chemistry, yes, but love, no.

How to Know If You Are in an Abusive Relationship?

Has this question ever been a concern? Have you ever found anyone else pointing it out to you? If yes, then it is possible that you might be in an abusive relationship. Based on research, there are a few indicators that you may want to check before you start worrying. Does your partner:

1) Express excessive control just to protect you?

2) Blame you every time for their bad temperament?

3) Try to hide their insecurities behind superior acts?

4) Hint that they can harm you to control you (even if they don't really)?

5) Try to isolate you to themselves; creating a distance between you and your family or friends?

6) Express jealousy towards your friends of opposite sex?

7) Stop you from interfering with finances of the family?

8) Show a typical lack of empathy?

9) Monitors your access and use of phones or other devices?

10) Plays the victim card all the time?

11) Show arrogance and is extremely demanding?

12) Abuse you or hit you?

All these signs prompt that you are definitely in an abusive relationship. Research tells that men, in general, have a more violent nature than women. However, this does not mean that they cannot be a victim themselves. It is a common misconception that only women can be subjected to abuse or violence in a relationship. This makes it even more difficult for men to accept or share their fate with their loved ones.

In our present society, individuals are rather shy in expressing about their abuse even with their closed ones. The notion of overlaying shame is evident in most of the cases. In addition, the whole abuse can lead them to think that they deserve it. They may think that they are either physically not attractive, not smart enough or have a bad nature. In severe cases, people go under a delusion that if not for their partner, no one will accept them.

It is, therefore, necessary for you to think about it clearly and believe in your intuition for once. If you are getting a feeling that something might not be right, you need to take a step back and think. You need to fight yourself and stop protecting your partner in your consciousness. You need to ask yourself whether your partner is really worth everything you are going through. Has anything changed from the time you had just started dating?

It is imperative that you must remove yourself from any relationship that is snatching away your general happiness. Know that you are worth loving and the person denying that might not be the one you should be spending your life with.

How to Find a Husband: 3 Secrets to a Lasting Relationship

 With everything that has been happening in the world these days, it is often hard to believe that there is still "forever" when it comes to relationships. Love is probably one of the most used up term to date, and because of that, people over the years have been sick and tired of believing that it exists and that it would last a lifetime.

Sad to say, the rate of divorce in the past years have escalated greatly, which only equates to more people feeling discouraged to risk their heart ever again.

However, there are still a lot of things that should be said about love that perhaps not all people have heard of yet. If you would take out women as examples, you know deep within them they want to have a husband to spend the rest of their life with, but at the same time fearing that they might get their heart broken in the end.

One of the many pressing questions of today is how to find a husband - a husband of your dream. If you are going to ask some women about it, for sure you would be bombarded by a lot of different opinions and ideas. However, the answer to that question isn't focus on just finding a husband of your preferences, but it ultimately funnels down to how to make the relationship lasts, regardless of whether or not the husband comes out the dream guy you've ever wanted.

The truth is that there are no perfect husbands, just as there are no perfect wives. But, there are secrets on how to make the relationship thrive regardless of the disparities. If you are serious about this, here are some of the secrets now disclosed for your knowledge:

Give out selfless love:

Nothing else could ever be sweeter in a relationship than having both parties willing to be selfless for each other. These days, it is often hard to determine whether or not there is a sense of selflessness within a relationship, but it is mostly evident by the way each person treats each other.

Just like Romeo and Juliet, you could say that their love was a selfless - and sacrificial - kind love as you could see in the ending of their story when both of them chose to die for each other. But we're not saying you should do that only to prove you are selfless, because that would be crazy! It is actually more on putting the other first before your own.

This means setting aside your own personal comfort, joy, and preferences and give way to the preferences, comfort, and joy of your own partner. It may seem like an exhausting thing to do, but remember that it wouldn't be a thriving relationship if both parties are selfish, would you agree?

As a matter of fact, a lot of success stories about love spring from this principle. If at least one of you would try it out, see for yourself the amazing result - the domino effect of selfless love.

Know each other's love languages:

Whether you believe it or not, every person has their own love languages. This means to say that one feels loved whenever someone executes or displays their love languages to them. For example, if one of your love languages is affirmation, you could feel being loved whenever someone affirms you of something. Same is true with other love languages such as quality time, traveling, gifts, respect, and service.

There are different kinds of love languages out there, and it pays a lot if you get to know at least the top 5 love languages of your partner, and then try to display them to him or her. Ultimately, this would result to more points that will positively affect the relationship big time. In addition, your partner will also have the motivation to do the same for you, as a result.

Be the partner suitable for them:

Oftentimes, because of our selfish nature, we get so caught up with just thinking about ourselves and what the person could do for us, instead of the other way around.

When we were younger, we got used to listing down the qualities we want for our ideal husband when in fact we should also be listing down how we could be an ideal partner to them as well.

One of the reasons why most relationships don't last is because it is self-centered. If you want to find an ideal husband, begin your search by being an ideal wife first. If you yourself could not prove that yet, then perhaps you are not yet ready for a lasting relationship - or marriage for that matter. And if you are not ready to enter that season, then chances are you will get hurt again.

It is because love is not a joke, more so a platform for self-indulgence. If you want not just to find a husband, but also avoid the risk of getting hurt again, then it is better to take this seriously and end up happy.

How King Solomon Seduced the Queen of Sheba and Later Impregnated Her

This is one of the great loves of mythology and reading about it even now thrills young and old

A great seduction
The Tale of Solomon and Sheba and their love affair is mentioned in the Bible. This is not the only source and we have other corroborative tales as well. One tale from Ethiopia recounts how Solomon seduced the Queen of Sheba. When the queen

reached the kingdom of Solomon, she agreed to stay in his palace, provided he did not touch her. Solomon readily agreed, but as he was a very intelligent man he added a condition. He said that his oath not to touch her would stand, but would not be valid in case the queen used any personal item or thing of his. there are many versions of this tale, but the central theme is the same, attraction and sex between the Queen of Sheba and the great king Solomon. In a way, it is a tale that has been replicated millions of times and each one of us has lived through a similar episode.

When the Queen came visiting Solomon she was given a bedroom adjacent to the great king. Solomon had seen the queen he longed for her. Can we call it to love at first sight? He made a devious plan to bed the queen and he resolved to possess her.

Keeping his promise to the queen in mind, Solomon got a large ornamental glass filled with water and took a big sip from it. He later placed the glass by the bedside of the queen. At night the queen felt thirsty and got up and drank from the glass. Solomon who was waiting in an adjoining chamber with an artificial partition was able to watch the Queen not only undress but reinforced his plan to enforce his part of the promise. Solomon entered at once and claimed that as the queen had drunk from his glass she was his. The queen who was in a state of undress had no choice but to acquiesce and she gave herself to Solomon. Perhaps she secretly desired him. It is reported that Solomon made ferocious love to her and soon the Queen after this bout became his consort. Solomon shifted to her bedroom. She later conceived. All the same, it's an interesting tale and the union bore fruit as the queen conceived a child from Solomon.

What Comes After Divorce

A wise women told me once "don't believe what is said only believe in what you see".
I have seen so many articles about divorce and listened to all opinions about the Monster Mr. Divorce. Hearing and reading is really nothing compared to real life knowledge. From my experience as a divorced woman, I can say that most of what you read and hear
is not true. I think that the consequences of divorce communicated are very exaggerated, so allow me to tell you what I have experienced myself.

Let's go through all of what I was told then tell you the reality of each and every claim mentioned. I want to clarify that I will only go through the negatives people were so much sure, I mean like 100% sure that I will face after divorce.

1- The Husbands Stealer:

Let me start by the most hilarious thing that I have been told: "All of your married friends will cut off their relation with you, they will all think that you are going to steal their husbands!".

No this didn't happen at all, my friends are still my friends and none of them ever thought like this. I go to my friends' homes while their husbands are present and we even travel all together. Everything regarding our friendship did not change after getting my new title. Finally, if any divorced woman experienced this, let me tell you clearly that it's your friends' problem not yours. If a friend decided to end it up with you because you are now single and she is terribly scared that her husband could think of you, so she is probably unsecure and it's her fault not yours.

2- My options are only limited to losers:

They will say "you will for sure get married to someone who is terrible, who would marry you except a loser, you are now divorced, you are less than any other women- defected".

No, No! I am not less than anyone, maybe I am better than many. What did I do to attract losers and terrible men? what have changed in me. Nothing at all, I am still the same lady I was before getting married, maybe divorce made me wiser and can say no to losers.

3- Everyone will use you:

They said "All men who you will be dating will not plan for something serious, they will just be taking advantage of you either, financially or sexually".

Let me stop here and tell you that single ladies are just like divorced, they both face this same issue. What can stop men from taking benefit of you is not you being untouched, it's you saying no and setting your limits

4- You cannot get divorced again:

My mum once told me "If you got married again and it didn't go well, you will never be able to get divorced once more, you will be doomed in this unhappy marriage forever, you can't handle the title of twice divorced".

Excuse me, why I will not do this again? Why would I stay in another unhappy marriage? I know now how to end it and when to end it if I have to. I handled the title of divorced woman and I can handle double the trouble.

5- You cannot raise your kids alone:

"Your kids will get negatively affected, kids cannot be raised properly without their biological father".

No your kids will not be affected if they are loved and understood. You can easily raise them alone and I think most of married women today are taking care of their kids solely. If you got married to a loving person, he can be a great substitute to their biological one. Just make sure to pick the right guy this time.

Summing up

To conclude, if you are so sure about your decision and you think that divorce is the only solution you have, please be certain that there are negatives but life isn't that bad after getting divorced.

Most of the claims you will be hearing aren't real. May be they were legitimate in the past; I mean like 20 years ago but surly they aren't valid today.

People now know very well that the divorced women are not less than other women. What happened to her is fate and no lady ever wanted her marriage to up end with divorce.

You can control very well what others think of you with your personality and attitude. Moreover, do not worry about your kids, they will be fine, just love them and they will be great.

Finally, as we all know, divorce rate reached 60.7 in cities according to CAPMUS 2017 report, meaning that every family has a divorced case, every group of friends has 2 or 3 divorced friends. People get in touch with a divorced woman every day and they know that it could be their daughter, sister, mother, relative or best friend.

Sexual Urges: How Can the Lonely Single Control Sexual Desires

Are you experiencing sexual urges in your loneliness? Do you know that you can actually control those emotional tensions?

These sexual urges are natural. They are there in humans and even in the lower animals. We are all created with that nature. If it were not so, what would you think would have happened to human and animal species? We would have all gone extinct. The Supreme Being made it so for purposes of procreation.

However, the intensity of these sexual urges vary from age to age. It is the strongest in adolescents. This is because their sexual hormonal levels are at their peak at that age. As humans advance in age, the hormonal levels deplete and so also the sexual outbursts.

When you are alone and single, the urge must come. And incidentally, the young men and women in the marriageable age experience this surge the most but in most cases, they do not have the 'relief valve' as and when needed.

Ordinarily, this natural phenomenon is not supposed to pose a problem of any type but it is actually a problem among young people.

In order to quench the 'fire', many young people engage in all manner of pre-marital activities that get them into trouble. What has become rampant is 'boy-meet-girl' and they begin to have intimate relationships that expose them to all sorts of sexually transmitted diseases. Some young women are even put in a family way and the pregnancies terminated through abortions. And some have got their reproductive systems destroyed and others even died in the process.

Many others have followed the path of masturbation. There are homosexuals and lesbians. All these are happening because young people are looking for ways to release sexual tensions.

The question is: how can these sexual desires be controlled?

Here are 5 simple ways...

§ Your Thoughts: Yes, the sexual urges will come! But sex is a thing of the mind. If you do not focus your mind and thoughts on it, it gets disabled. You therefore need to control your thoughts. Get your mind occupied with other things and you will watch the surge go down naturally.

 Keep Busy: They say an idle mind is the devil's workshop. If you don't keep busy, you will be overwhelmed by the sexual desires. How do you get yourself engaged? Read books; learn new skills; engage in regular exercises; etc. What is your vision? Where do you want to be and what impact do you want to create in your community and indeed the World? Do not allow sexual tensions that are ephemeral rob you or cut short your life mission!

 Stay Away from the Triggers: There are some attitudes that exacerbate the urges. You need to avoid such triggers like the Coronavirus ravaging the World today. One of them is watching pornographic videos. What are you feeding your eyes with? What are you feeding your mind with? Remember, your mind is the engine room. How about alcohol and drugs? Stay clear of those!

⤠Avoid Masturbation: You can get addicted to masturbation. As you continue to use masturbation as a means of releasing emotional pressure, it moves from habitual to addiction. When it gets to that level, it becomes difficult to stop and the urge will keep mounting. The best option is to nip it in the bud.

⤠Keep Good Company: Who are your friends? They say tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are. Also, it is said that you are the average of the five people you are always in close contact with. Choose your friends very carefully - those who have good characters and those that put great values around their lives.

Sexual urges are signs of puberty. It is a sign that you are ready for procreation. The Scripture says that there's a time and season for everything. Control yourself until it is your time to commit in marriage.